


close your eyes and jump

by Irratia



Series: shining bright - the idiot adventures [1]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alex is a gay disaster, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, First Kiss, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Pining, Swearing, and i love him for it, and i mean that! Rose is alive and thriving, i have a lot of emotions and i project them all onto alex okay?, kind of, they're all in school so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:07:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27245497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irratia/pseuds/Irratia
Summary: "Oh my god, I’m so fucking gay.”The doors haven’t even fully shut behind him, but Alex is already tossing his backpack aside and falling down onto the plushy new rug in the garage. He hears Luke mutter an exasperated “Jesus Christ.”Alex, lying face first on the ground, just groans. The rug is very soft, and he wants for it to swallow him whole. Reggie snickers. Julie enters.“What’s Alex doing on the floor, is he okay?”“He’s being dramatic,” Luke says.“I’m so, so gay,” Alex says, rolling onto his back.“Yeah, we kinda got that from the 15 messages you sent to the groupchat,”ORAlex is an anxious, gay mess with a huge crush and when said crush starts talking to him he doesn't know what to do.
Relationships: Alex/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), minor Julie Molina/Luke Patterson - Relationship
Series: shining bright - the idiot adventures [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1989781
Comments: 111
Kudos: 715





	close your eyes and jump

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all!  
> I can't believe the first thing I've published in like two years is because this fandom seems to be obsessed with shipping white boys and ignoring their canon POC love interests. Also I absolutely adore these characters as well, but still.  
> Just a tiny bit of explanation before we get into this:  
> I have no clue how american schools work, but Alex, Luke and Reggie are all 17, Willie is 18, Julie, Carrie and Flynn are 16. They're in the same grade. Julie and the Phantoms exists, and so dies Dirty Candy, but they get along quite well, they just don't hang out much. Willie is part of Carrie's friend group.  
> When I went into writing this I was like "haha, lemme just write a 4k Oneshot about Alex being gay and dramatic" and here we are. This baby can fit so many headcanons and self projections onto Alex into it :D.  
> Hope you like it!

“Oh my god, I’m so fucking gay.”  
The doors haven’t even fully shut behind him, but Alex is already tossing his backpack aside and falling down onto the plushy new rug in the garage. He hears Luke mutter an exasperated “ _Jesus Christ_ ,” from the couch. Alex, lying face first on the ground, just groans. The rug is very soft, and he wants for it to swallow him whole. Reggie snickers.  
The garage doors swing open again, and Alex rightly presumes that Julie enters.

“So, my dad forgot to buy more snacks, but I cut up some veggies-,” she says, before stopping abruptly.  
“What’s Alex doing on the floor, is he okay?”

“He’s being dramatic,” Luke says.

“I’m so, so gay,” Alex says, rolling onto his back.

“Yeah, we kinda got that from the 15 messages you sent to the groupchat,” Luke sounds annoyed, but mostly bemused. Typical, his friends think his crisis is funny. Alex gives Julie a pitiful look, as she snorts and steps over him. She’s holding a tray with some bowls on it, and is very clearly also amused.

“So, dear Alex, what’s up?” she asks as she puts the tray down onto the side table next to the couch. Luke raises his eyebrows in tandem with her question and Reggie, the little shit, gives Alex a shit-eating grin.

“He wore a crop top, Julie. A _crop top_ ,”  
Reggie starts laughing at him, outright now and Julie grins. Luke throws up his hands. “Bro, you’re so pathetic!”

“Shut the fuck up, Luke, you aren’t any better!” Alex says, remembering very clearly how Luke walked straight into a street lamp the one time Julie wore a dress with a low neckline on the back. Julie, as the only person who cares about him, laughs at that, sits down and then redirects her attention to Alex, who’s still lying on the floor.

“So Willie wore a crop top. And you saw him and did what? Stare from a distance only to be gay and dramatic at band practice?”  
Scratch the caring part, all of his friends hate him.

“Actually,” Alex sits up “he talked to me today.”

“Cool, did you also talk to him or did you just splutter and run off like last time?”

“Luke, I will kill you, I swear-“

“Okay, guys!” Julie interrupts, barely holding her laughter back. Reggie doesn’t care, he’s full on cackling.   
“So, how did the talking go?” Julie asks, leaning forward from her place on the couch’s armrest.

“Where did y’all get to talking anyway? It’s not like you’ve got the balls to approach him yourself,” Reggie asks.  
Alex hates his friends.

“He joined Dance Club today,” Alex says.  
He pushes his hair out of his face, and remembers the moment Willie stepped into the gym during the after-school Dance Club that Alex has joined at the beginning of this school year. He’d nearly missed a step and dropped Kayla, because seeing Willie anywhere apart from class is not a thing that happens, and also shouldn’t because Alex can barely function anyway when Willie is near him, much less twirl another dancer around.

“Like, _joined_ joined or just came by?” Julie asks.

“Just came by, for Carrie, I think,”  
It’s no secret that Carrie Wilson and Willie are good friends, as unexpected as that friendship may be. And maybe Alex should have thought about that when signing up for the club, of which Carrie is the frontwoman.

“Okay, so how did you get talking?” Julie repeats Reggie’s question.  
Despite all of their teasing the other three genuinely look interested now.

“Well, okay. So. He came in, and Carrie made us finish the song, which was really hard by the way because he was watching? And I think Kayla might have noticed something, because she kept looking at me with this really weird smile on her face, like kinda knowing, which. Oh my god, what if she figured out that I have a crush on Willie? She’ll definitely tell Carrie and Carrie will tell him. Oh fuck. I think I need to change schools-“

“You’re rambling,” Julie interrupts. Thank god for her, because Alex really just does not need to go down a spiral right now.

“Yeah, also I think the only person not aware of your massive fucking crush is the man himself,” Luke adds, and then squawks as Julie smacks his arm.  
Alex deliberately chooses to ignore that, because he absolutely cannot think about how obvious he must be.

“Honestly, him watching you dance might actually make him fall in love with you,” Reggie comments.  
Alex scoffs, because yeah, as if. He’s not that skilled, he just likes moving with the music.

“Anyway. We finish to that song, and Carrie gives us a break, right? And I’m trying very desperately to seem chill-”

“Which I bet you failed at,” Luke interjects. Julie glares at him.  
He’s right though. Alex had backed away from where Willie and Carrie were talking and tried to hide behind his water bottle, which had failed spectacularly as Willie had sauntered over to him just a few minutes later.

“So, he’s talking to Carrie and I’m drinking and then he just comes over to me? And I was already freaking out, kinda, because, well,”

“Willie,” all three of his friends say in unison with him. He really is predictably pathetic.

“Uhm, yeah. So he smiled at me and was like ‘Hey’ and I’m like ‘Hey’,” Alex deliberately leaves out the part where he choked on his water. “And he asks me what it’s like being the only guy in the dance club, and I’m like ‘it’s fine, we all like the same thing so that’s nice’ and he smiles at me, again?” Alex needs to take a breath, and tries no to blush too hard at the memory.  
Reggie is snickering again, the fucking asshole.

“So, anyhow, Carrie calls us back to practice a new choreography, and she starts demonstrating, and Willie just joins us, and did you guys know that he can actually dance really well? Because I didn’t and _holy shit_.”

“Holy shit?” Julie asks, grinning.

“Yeah,” Alex is a bit embarrassed about the crack in his voice when he says it, but luckily the others stay quiet. He clears his throat and starts digging his fingers into the rug.  
“Yeah, uhm. Holy shit. His hair was open, and it was just flying around? And it’s so shiny!” he could go on, but stops himself before he goes on another rant about Willie’s hair, because he’s pretty sure Luke would actually kill him.

“Yeah, so after that he turns around to me and grins and just goes ‘I see the appeal, maybe I’ll join you more often’ and then he turns to Carrie again, and I’m just standing there, and he puts his hair up into a ponytail and his shirt rises up and I-“ Alex has to stop again, to take a deep breath, and buries his face in his hands for a second while his friends, again, laugh at him.  
He’d nearly dropped dead right there in the gym when Willie’s shirt had risen up and revealed a strip of warm brown skin.

“God, bro, you’re in so, so deep,” Reggie says and he’s also laughing. Hasn’t stopped really, since Alex came into the garage.

“I know!” Alex cries. His face is really hot, and he knows he’s blushing but he doesn’t really have any control over it.

“So he put up his hair and you saw a bit of his skin and that’s why you’re this dramatic?” Luke asks, grinning and with an obvious fondness in his voice, but he’s also very much enjoying Alex’ suffering. Which, in all fairness, Alex wasn’t any less of a teasing shit before Luke and Julie got together.

“Oh, Luke, c’mon,” she says and shoves him lightly.

“Did anything happen after that?”

“I mean, not really. I thought I might pass out for a hot second, but I didn’t-”

“Congrats, bro, otherwise that woulda really been embarrassing,”

“Thanks, Luke, I didn’t know. Anyway. Carrie ended up finishing a bit earlier, hence why I’m here earlier. He said goodbye to me, and I said bye, too, and that was it.”

“And now you’re here, and being gay,” Luke says, unimpressed.

“Yeah,” Alex answers. He’s embarrassed now, because honestly it probably wasn’t that big of a deal, and now he just annoyed his friends with his ramblings over Willie because he can’t get his shit together and talk to the guy.

“Alex, I’m happy for you, okay? It’s nice seeing you be this excited over him and I’m proud that you didn’t embarrass yourself too bad in front of him,” Luke says quickly, and Alex thinks he might have seen his doubt on his face.  
Reggie nods and slides down from where he’s draped over a chair, onto the rug. He wiggles over to Alex and throws his arms around him.

“Yeah man. I saw him earlier today and I knew he was wearing a crop top, and I’m really glad you trust us enough to talk about this,” he says. Alex hugs him back.

“I mean, yeah. Thank you guys for being so patient with me, I know it gets a bit annoying and-“

“Oh, shut up, Alex. You might be a tad dramatic about the whole thing, but we wouldn’t encourage you of it was annoying. Also you’ve dealt with your fair share of mine and Luke’s pining so it’s just fair we listen as well,” Julie interrupts him, and throws herself at him and Reggie. Luke joins the cuddle pile as well, and Alex groans under their weight. But he can’t help the smile on his face, because yeah, they tease the living hell out of him, but his friends also care for him and don’t care about him being gay and listen to him whenever he needs it.

“But you’re still really pathetic and need to get your shit together,” Luke says, and follows this up with a small “ow”, as Julie flicks two fingers against his cheek. She kisses the spot right after, but still rolls her eyes at him.

\---

A few days later, on Saturday Alex is just strolling around, trying desperately to clear his head.  
It’s warm, too warm to be wearing his denim jacket, but he doesn’t want to take it off because he might have sweaty armpits and he doesn’t want anyone seeing that.  
He’s kind of freaking out. A little bit. Or a bigger bit. Totally, maybe. Because his grandparents are coming over for dinner and he really, really hates it when that happens because, well.  
Alex stops abruptly, as a couple exits a shop right in front of him without looking and thanks his quick reflexes for avoiding a collision, when someone crashes into his back with full force. He stumbles and falls onto the concrete sidewalk, and, miraculously doesn’t break anything. But he can feel his chin and hands scrape against it, and the skin tears.

“Ow, fuck,” he groans, after a few seconds of shock. He begins to push himself up, as does the person who ran him over. They scramble up, while Alex is still occupied with scraping himself of the floor.

“Dude, you dinged my board!” they say.

Alex protests immediately. “I dinged your board, dude, you ran me over!” he wants to add more, but his breathing halts when he turns around to find Willie – Willie! standing in front of him, holding his skateboard and looking at it with full concern.  
Willie looks up at Alex, and cringes a bit.

“Yeah, sorry about that, I kinda didn’t expect you to stop in the middle of the sidewalk.”

“Uh, there was a couple, I tried to avoid a collision but, well. You sorta ruined that plan,” he says.  
Willie laughs and holy. shit. Alex has heard him laugh of course, but never at something Alex said and it’s so much better this way.

“Yeah, again, sorry,” Willie says, and smiles apologetically and he’s looking directly at Alex and the sun is shining and Willies brown eyes are so warm. Alex clears his throat again.  
He should say something.

“Do you always skate this fast to run people over, or?” he asks.  
Not that, though.  
Willie laughs again.  
So.  
Maybe that.

“Not usually, no. But people also usually don’t stop in the middle of the sidewalk, so,” he says.

“Um, sorry about that. I hope I didn’t actually ding you board,” Alex says. He starts fiddling with the seam of his jacket.

“Oh, no worries, it’s not the only one I’ve got and wouldn’t be the first I’ve broken,” Willie says, and then takes of his helmet. He shakes out his hair, and is still looking at Alex. And Luke was so right when he said that Alex was pathetic, because he can only stare. His brain has shut down otherwise.

“Oh, uhm. I’m Alex, by the way,” he says and sticks out his hand. Apparently his brain has reset and is starting with introductions. Willie grins.

“I know.”

He knows? What the fuck? Willie actually knows Alex’ name. Holy shit. And the also shakes Alex’ hand which adds a whole other layer of feelings onto Alex who actually feels like he might die right here.  
What a way to go.  
Run over by his crush and then died because of physical contact. Luke would never let him hear the end of it.

“I’m Willie.”

“Yeah, I know,”  
Jesus fuck, why did he say that? Now it’s awkward, Alex thinks, because they both know each other, they’re in the same fucking school for god’s sake, why, oh why did he have to introduce himself?

“Cool, we know each other then,” Willie says and smiles and he’s looking at Alex, still looking, and Alex doesn’t know where to put his hands or where to look. “What were you doing around here anyway, shouldn’t you be at home or practicing with your band or something?”

Willie not only knows his name but also that he’s in a band? What the fuck. Although, well. To be fair Alex and his friends have performed at a school event before. He’d just kind of always assumed that Willie was too cool for that kind of stuff. Alex takes a second to answer, because his brain is still rebooting from the seconds long skin contact he had with Willie.

“Well, I was having a minor crisis, and just wanted to clear my head. You know, before you tried to crack it open,”

Willie laughs again. “I did try to pancake you, huh?”

It’s honestly criminal how cute he is, what the fuck. Alex is at a loss for words, again, and why the fuck can’t he behave like a normal person? Willie sobers pretty quickly though, and a look of concern settles onto his face.

“Minor crisis?” he asks.

Oh, yeah. That.

“Well. I mean, yeah. It’s stupid, but, uh. My grandparents are coming over for dinner,” Alex says. He avoids eye contact. Or tries to, because his darned eyes betray him and flit right back onto Willie.

“Which is bad, because?”

“They’re a bit homophobic,” Alex says, trying to sound as nonchalant about the whole thing as possible, and nodding. Willie’s expression turns pained for a second, and Alex does not like that look at all.

“Ah shit, I’m sorry man, that really sucks,” he says. 

"I’m used to it, but, you know. It’s still not really fun. They aren’t overtly homophobic, but grandma will definitely ask again why I don’t have a girlfriend, and then tell me it’s just a phase, which it really isn’t,” Alex trails off. He definitely doesn’t want to overshare although he thinks he might have done that already. Willie nods understandingly.

“Again, that really sucks, I’m sorry,”

“Well it’s not your fault, but thanks, I guess,” Alex smiles at Willie. A gust of wind shoves his hair into his face and when he moves to brush it away again his palm stings. Alex hisses before he can stop himself.

“Wait, shit, are you hurt?” Willie moves forward, and Alex’s brain short circuits again.

“Just a bit, it’s not too bad,” he says.

“Show me, please?”

Alex tentatively holds out his right hand, taking a good look at it for the first time. It really isn’t too bad, could have been worse by all standards, but the skin on the lower part of his palm is scraped and bleeding a bit. There might also be some dirt in there.  
Willie takes hold of his hand with both of his, and Alex swears his heart stops because he is so _gentle_.

“It really isn’t that bad, but we should definitely get that cleaned soon,” Willie says softly, voice laced with worry. He looks up from where he’s leaning over Alex’s hand and sends him a reassuring smile.

“Honestly, when I started skating I used to skin my knees like, all the time.”

“Yeah, I remember you coming to school with them always covered in really colourful bandaids,” Alex says, again, before he can stop himself. Willies eyebrows shoot up.  
Fucking shit, now Alex has revealed himself as a massive fucking stalker because yes, even when he was eleven years old he’d already been somewhat infatuated with Willie.

“You remember that?”

Alex gives a nervous laugh and rubs his neck with his free hand. Because Willie is still holding his other hand. Good god.

“Yeah, uh, I was always really jealous because my dad didn’t let me have colourful band aids. Said they’d turn me gay,” which is partially true. Or, actually really true, but Alex had been shyly stealing glances at Willie for other reasons as well. Gay reasons. “That part didn’t really work out for him though,” he adds quickly.

Then wants to slap himself because he really, really doesn’t need to shove his sexuality into Willie’s face, but Willie smiles a bit before he gives Alex an earnest look.

“Your dad sucks, man,” Willie says.

“Tell me about it.”

There’s a short moment, only a few seconds long, where they just look at each other. Willie’s face is still tinged with worry and possibly pity, and Alex honestly doesn’t want to know what he looks like right now, because if he looks as lovestruck as he feels right now, then Willie will definitely know. Which would be a disaster.

“Okay,” he clears his throat uncomfortably, looks back down at his hand. “What exactly do we need for cleaning this?”

“Something to flush it out would be good, clean water would be best. Tweezers probably, to get the dirt out. Some antiseptic? We can get all of that in the shop around the corner, I’ve been around there often enough and-,”

“Hold on,” Alex interrupts.  
Willie looks surprised, eyebrows rising once again. Alex desperately hopes he’s not blushing too hard. He regrets it so, so much, but he pulls his hand free, mourning the loss of warmth and the soft touch of Willie’s skin on his.

“I have everything except the water, I think,” he says, and pulls on the strap of his fanny pack, to get to the actual bag.

“Alex with the fanny pack,” Willie mumbles and grins. Alex stops for a second, looks up.

“What?” And he doesn’t know if he’s just imagining things or not, but Willie actually looks like he blushes a bit at that. Probably a trick of light.

“I mean, you’re always carrying that thing with you, wherever you go.”

Alex honestly doesn’t know whether he should be embarrassed that Willie knows him because of his fanny pack, or whether he should be glad that it isn’t other incidents that Willie seems to remember involving him. Or whether he should just freak the fuck out on the inside, because apparently Willie really does pay attention to him sometimes which just does not make sense.

“Yeah, it’s got my EpiPen and inhaler in it, I kind of want to avoid dying in someone’s way.”

Willie chuckles, but nods.

“I get that, but why do you have the rest?”

“Basically everyone in my friend group has a knack for getting small injuries so I carry around some stuff in case we need it,”

“Ah,” Willie says and sends Alex another smile. “Well, we still need water, and I feel really bad about running you over so I’ll buy you a drink or something and we can maybe find a spot that’s not the literal middle of a sidewalk to take care of your hands?”

“I- yeah, okay, okay.”

Willie smiles.

“Cool, then try to keep up,” and with that he tucks his helmet under his arms and skates off. Slowly, but still.

“Okay,” Alex repeats, very quietly this time, but then he takes off after Willie.

He still can’t really grasp the situation, because him and Willie talking? Him and Willie talking more in the very near future? It feels a bit like a dream, but he really, really isn’t complaining and that way he doesn’t have to worry about that awful dinner in a few hours. They end up on a bench near the beach, and Willie, who apparently still feels really bad about the whole running him over thing makes it his mission to clean his scraped palms up.  
And Alex honestly does not complain, will never complain. Because he’s sitting on a bench across from his crush, who’s holding his hands and very enthusiastically talking about all the semi-legal stunts he’s pulled. (Just the thought of which makes Alex’s anxiety spike, but whatever.)  
He feels the sea breeze in his hair, and Willies gorgeous hair is tucked behind his ears, but some strands are escaping and tickling Alex’s skin.  
It’s peaceful and.  
A Lot.

Like, seriously. Alex has never really talked to the guy before and here they are and it’s really, really great, but still very new and unknown and Alex is pretty sure that he’ll have to utilize his drums later on, because there’s some anxiety building up in his chest.  
He tries to concentrate on the now, where his left hand is already clean, although burning a bit, and his right is grasped lightly in one of Willie’s while he tries to get a tiny bit of gravel out of the scrape. His brown skin practically glows in the sun, and whenever he looks up Alex is just hit with the warmth of Willie’s eyes. He’s staring, unabashedly. He really, really doesn’t want this moment to end.

“All done,” Willie says softly and straightens his back, smiling at Alex.

“Thanks, you really didn’t have to-”

“I ran you over, the least I can do is help you get dirt out of your wounds.”

“I think wounds is a bit drastic as a description, but still, thanks.”

“If I could put some bright yellow and green bandaids on them, I would.”

Alex laughs, and Willie does too, but he’s still looking at Alex intently. He looks like he wants to say something, but Alex’ phone vibrates and he pulls it out to see that it’s his mom who commands him home right this instant.

“Oh shit, I really gotta get going, I’m sorry,” Alex gets up.

Willie’s face falls a bit and Alex wants to scream, because he, too, does absolutely not want to leave, but he has to.

“That’s alright man, good luck with your family, I’ll be thinking of you,” Willie says and Alex nearly chokes on air at that.

“I’ll try not to die,” he says, because he doesn’t know what else to say and some good old death-related humour never fails.

“You better not, I wanna see you around,” Willie gets up as well, and claps Alex on the shoulder, before he takes off on his skateboard.

Alex is literally left in his dust, and can’t help but stare, again, at the retreating figure, his hands tingling and his stomach doing sommersaults. Okay, okay. Cool. Amazing. What the fuck is he supposed to do with this encounter now?

\---

“He ran you over?” Luke exclaims, voice pitching higher.

“Yeah, I just told you-”

“He ran you over and held your hand and smiled at you a whole lot and you talked and he held your hands again and you didn’t fucking tell us until now?”

“Luke, calm down-”

“Alex, what the fuck? You don’t shut up about him wearing a crop top but when you actually interact with him we don’t hear about it for two days?”

“Luke, sweetie, to be fair to Alex, sending this in a text is a bit much,” Julie interrupts.

They’re sitting around a table for lunch, and Alex has just recounted his encounter on Saturday. Honestly, he doesn’t even know why he hasn’t told them yet, but Julie is right. As per usual.  
Alex was pretty preoccupied yesterday, with lying in bed and hating his grandparents but also with remembering and reliving the entire time he’d spent with Willie.

“This is a major breakthrough!” Luke says and stares at Alex. “You actually managed a conversation with him!”

“Yeah, and that means you can talk to him again, and again and then you’ll woo him with your wit and you’ll fall in love and boom- wedding, happy ever after,” Reggie adds.

The table falls silent. Mostly.  
Julie and Flynn giggle into their hands, Luke doesn’t seem sure whether to agree with Reggie or question his existence, Reggie looks proud and Alex is just embarrassed.

“Reggie-,“ Alex begins but he’s interrupted by Flynn, who stares at something behind him.

“He’s coming over!”

“What?!” Alex tries to whip around, but Luke forcefully throws an arm around his shoulder to keep him still.

“Flynn said he’s coming over,” Reggie repeats, grinning.

“Yeah, thanks, Reg, I got that part. The question is why?”

“To talk to you, maybe?” Julie suggests.

“Okay, okay, oh god. What if he sensed we were talking about him? Oh my god, that’s so embarrassing! Fuck, guys, what do I do?”

“Shut up, dude, just calm down,” Luke whispers, while the girls, who have their eyes fixated on what Alex can only assume is Willie, grin and nod.  
Reggie looks extremely excited.

“I have anxiety, Luke, calming down is like, the opposite of what I do!”

“Jesus Christ, Alex, chill out!”

“I just fucking told you-”

“Hi Alex, hey guys,” Willie says.

Alex glares at Luke before turning in his seat and plastering on a, what he hopes to be, friendly but calm, totally not at all, freaking out smile.  
Judging by Luke’s nudge in his side, he fails miserably.  
Willie looks good, which really isn’t a surprise because he always does, and that is just unfair. He’s wearing a blue shirt, and has half of his hair up in a bun, the rest of the brown locks spilling over his back. He’s also smiling.

“Hey,” the table echoes back.

“Uh, hi,” Alex says, both belated and very awkwardly.

Luke sighs next to him. Willie’s smile seems to get a bit bigger, but Alex is probably just imagining things.  
“I just wanted to ask how that dinner with your family went?”

Alex nods for a second before he actually comprehends the question because he’s still somewhat hung up on the part where Willie came over to his table to talk to him. “It went fine, I guess. Could have been better, but it’s also nothing I’m not used to,” he says, awkwardly.

In truth, it went really badly. There was some screaming and some slurs involved, but he’s pretty used to most of these at this point, so whatever. Neither Willie nor the rest of his friends really need to know about that.

“That’s good. Or well, not really, but you know what I mean,” Willie laughs awkwardly.

Alex does too, nods.  
Someone snorts, it’s probably Julie.  
Traitor.

“Oh! Also, how are your hands doing? I really hope they’re not too damaged for you to play your drums,” Willie says.

Alex is starting to wonder whether he’s woken up in another dimension. “They’re fine, you didn’t do too much damage.”

“That’s good. I like hearing you play.”

“Uh. Cool. Um, I mean. We’ll probably be playing at the next school dance, so. Yeah.”

“Yeah,” Willie nods, bites his lip which should absolutely be illegal for him to do. He shoves his hands into the pockets of his shorts and shifts a bit.  
“Well. Good to know I didn’t injure you too much.” Willie nods again, along to his words. "See you around, hotdog,” he adds, then shoots the rest of Alex’s table a smile before turning around.

Alex stares after him.

“Okay,” he says.  
Turns around.  
“Okay. What the fuck,” he adds.

He looks down at his hands, the scabs covering his lower palms, then up at the others.  
They’re all grinning madly.

“That was awkward as hell,” Flynn says.

“Yeah, well. You all did stare at him the entire time, that’s enough to make someone who hasn’t even got anxiety anxious." Alex looks down at the table and twists the ring around his finger.

“Honestly, Alex, you could have given him more to work with. The poor boy was desperately trying to talk to you,” Julie says.

“I was kind of overwhelmed.”

“We could tell.”

“Luke, I will kill you, I swear to god.”

“Okay, but ‘Hotdog’? What’s that about?” Reggie interrupts.

“He’s given you a nickname!” Julie coos.

Alex cringes. “I kind of don’t want to be reminded of the time we got food poisoning on a school trip though. I also really don’t like knowing that he remembers that.”

“Oh, shut up Alex. That only means he’s been paying attention to you for some time now.”

“He didn’t have to pay attention to us to know we got food poisoning, Reggie, an ambulance literally came to get us. We were all crying. I was vomiting.”

“To be fair, all of us where.”

“Thanks Luke, that really helps with my anxiety and embarrassment right now.” Luke grins at Alex, and Julie and Flynn shake their heads.

“Dude, I know that that’s kinda hard for you, but you really need to chill out a bit. Willie obviously cares enough to talk to you again and ask how that dinner with your shitty family went, so just enjoy that. It’s a good thing, right? You might actually have a shot at talking to him again, because he’s clearly interested in that,” Reggie says, his voice soft and smile supportive, and Alex is reminded why he’s friends with him.

Somehow, it’s so often Reggie, who offers a few wise words that make him feel better.  
The others agree, Luke bumps his shoulder into Alex’ side and Julie pats his hand from across the table.

“I, yeah. Thanks, Reg.”

\---

Alex really does not expect for Willie to actually seek him out again, or to talk with the other boy again.  
They share only a tiny amount of classes, and both of them tend to hang out with their friends in those. So of course he looses his shit again, when, the next Wednesday during his weekly dancing practice, Willie strolls in with Carrie and Kayla in tow, and immediately smiles at Alex, when they lock eyes.  
Which, unfortunately happens to be while Alex is drinking out of his water bottle, and so he splutters and chokes on the water and dribbles some of it on his shirt.  
Fucking fuck.  
He’s an absolute disaster.

Alex has just managed to dry his face and furiously scrub at his shirt, in vain, as it doesn’t magically dry, when Willie plops himself down on the bleacher next to him.

“Hi,” he says.

And Alex, somehow, after only two talks, has managed to miss Willie’s voice. “Hi,” he says, and doesn’t know where to look.

Somehow, despite Alex’ best unintentional attempts, they manage to have a normal conversation, until Carrie calls them onto the gym floor. And Alex manages to behave normally the entire time, not tripping once, no matter how often he sees slivers of Willie’s skin when his shirt flies up, or how good Willie looks with strands of hair falling out of his bun. They end up on the bleachers after, waiting for their breathing to even out, and Alex wonders how the literal fuck anyone can look as good as Willie does after intense exertion.

“You’re a pretty damn good dancer,” Willie says.

Alex snorts. “Yeah, right. I’m average at best.”

Willie’s eyebrows knit together, and he looks at Alex quizzically. “You really aren’t.”

“Okay,” Alex says, but he doesn’t believe it, and his tone conveys that.

“Hey, so, do you have any plans for today?” Willie asks after a short moment of silence.

Alex’ stomach sommersaults, and he desperately wants to say no, but. “I have band practice,”

Willie’s shoulders sag a little, which Alex could chalk up to disappointment, but why would he, when it makes much more sense that Willie’s just exhausted?

“Okay, another time, then, yeah?”

“Okay,” Alex says, and he tries to keep the elated smile of his face, he really does, but it’s very hard.

Later, at band practice, when they’re all sprawled on the plushy rug, he is, of course, teased for it, until he tells the others about Willie’s invitation.

“Why didn’t you say yes?!” Julie cries, sitting up.

“Uh, ‘cause we had band practice?”

“Dude, he clearly wanted to hand with you! We would have survived one of these without you!” Reggie chastises.

“I didn’t want to bail out on you this short before practice!”

“Alex, you’re putting your love life in danger!” Julie says, desperation in her voice.

“There’s no love life! He probably just wants to hang out as friends,” Alex protests.

Luke groans. “I’m actually going to kill you, Alex, holy shit!”

\---

Alex does get his chance to actually hang out with Willie, only a bit more than a week later.  
Willie and him have been talking at school pretty regularly. They somehow keep running into each other in the halls and chatting for five minutes before the bell rings.  
Alex can’t say he minds this, at all.

He’s out on another walk, needing to clear his head. He’s staying at the Molina’s at the moment, after a particularly bad weekend with his family, because he didn’t want to join his parents at church. And he loves them, the Molinas, he really does.  
But sometimes seeing their domestic bliss really is a bit too much, when he knows that at home there’s only silence or disapproving looks, or arguments. And so he goes on walks to clear his head.  
He doesn’t expect to run into Willie, who almost runs him over again.

“We really gotta stop meeting like this,” the other boy says, grinning as he hops off his skateboard, after coming to a very sharp halt in front of Alex.

“Yeah, probably.”

“So, what’re you doing?” Willie asks and he’s smiling at Alex with this soft smile that Alex has seen kind of a lot lately, which makes his insides totally gooey and his brain even dumber than it already is around Willie.

“Uhm, just clearing my head I guess."

“Again?”

“Well, yeah. It’s complicated,” Alex looks down at his feed, wanting to avoid Willie’s eyes as much as possible because he doesn’t want to ruin the joy of seeing the other boy by being a Debbie Downer.  
Willie reaches out and lightly pushes Alex’ left shoulder. “Alright, I’ve got an idea,” he says, and there’s a mischievous glint in his eyes that should not make Alex feel incredibly attracted to him but rather just make him anxious about what’s to come.

“C’mon,” Willie says, and picks up his skateboard.

Alex follows him. Of course he does. He would probably follow Willie into an erupting volcano, as embarrassing as that may be to admit.  
They walk, and they talk. About this and that. The gig that’s coming up for Alex and the band in a month, for the school dance. About Willie finding a new favourite skating spot. School. Their lack of plans for after school. A new movie. It’s surprisingly comfortable.  
They walk for about twenty minutes, and Alex, while very much liking that he’s hanging out with Willie, wonders where exactly they’re going.

Willie stops in front of a building, a Club.

“We’re underage,” Alex says because Willie is looking at the building with determination and a big smile. He looks over.

“Yeah, but that can’t really stop us, can it?”

“I mean, it kind of is the law.”   
Willie laughs, but it’s a good laugh. Alex thinks. Or hopes.  
Because there’s a pressure on his chest that he knows all too well from the many years of anxiety, and he really, really doesn’t want to explain to his parents that he got arrested because his crush dragged him into a club. Willie seems to pick up on his unease.

“You need to relax a bit, dude. Technically we’re not doing anything illegal.”

“Technically doesn’t sound great, also we’re still underage.”

“My dad owns the club, they know me here,” Willie admonishes, and looks uncomfortable with it for a second.   
Alex gapes at him. He never really thought about the connection Willie _Covington_ could have with Caleb Covington, famous magician and owner of a shitload of clubs in LA. He really is an idiot.

“Uh, okay, but-,” he starts, because he still isn’t entirely comfortable with this.  
Willie sighs, or not really. He just releases a loud breath and shakes his head a bit, before he looks at Alex again. “You worry too much, bro. Come on.”

“Yeah, I don’t know if you know that, but I’m the anxious one in my friend group so worrying is kind of a job requirement.”

“Nobody’s saying you can’t have anxiety, you just don’t need to worry about the law right now, so come on,” Willie says and grabs- grabs! Alex’ hand.

He forcefully pulls Alex forward, to the alley next to the building where they enter through a side door.  
Alex is entirely too focused on the fact that he’s actually holding hands with Willie, not due to injury or anything, but genuinely because Willie grabbed his fucking hand, what does that mean? to notice that they’re climbing up set after set of stairs.  
Willie chatters the entire time, about something that Alex doesn’t really listen to, because they’re holding hands.  
And they climb the stairs, until Willie pushes open a door to what happens to be the roof. It’s the late afternoon, and sun streams over it, illuminating everything, and they have pretty good view of the city.

“Holy shit,” Alex breathes, as he steps out onto the roof behind Willie. Their hands are still clasped together.

“I hope you’re not afraid of heights, maybe I shoulda asked before going up here,” Willie says and turns slightly, so he can look at Alex, sounding worried all of a sudden.

“I’m not, Luke, from my band, is though. He went to New York once, with his parents, and they sent us a lot of photos where he’s just crying on top of the Empire State Building. He couldn’t even climb a tree when we were younger,” Alex says, and grins at the memories of Luke, who always pretended to be so brave, at the age of nine, clinging to a branch in the Molina’s backyard, until Ray came to talk him down.

“So, you’ve all been friends for a really long time, huh?” Willie asks.  
Alex nods.  
“Do you like it?” Willi asks after a beat of silence.

He vaguely gestures to the rooftop.  
The view.  
The ocean sparkles in the distance.

“Yeah,” Alex breathes, because he does.

Willie grins, then lets go of Alex’ hand and immediately starts skating around.  
Alex doesn’t even have time to mourn the loss of hand holding because he nearly has a heart attack at the sight of Willie’s tricks.  
The other boy’s delighted laughter rings out, and Alex turns to be able to keep his eyes on him.  
Jesus Christ.  
Willie comes to a stop at the edge of the roof, and sits down.  
He gestures Alex closer.  
Alex follows, but just ends up standing there awkwardly.

“You’re wound a little tight, aren’t you?” Willie asks.

There’s no judgement in his voice, which Alex appreciates. “I mean, yeah. Anxiety kinda does that to a person,” Alex says.

“That’s alright,” Willie says, and smiles up at him with such a warm smile that Alex forgets the near heart attack he’s just had a few moments ago.

Willie pats the spot beside him. Alex obeys.  
They sit in silence for a bit, just side by side, and Alex starts fiddling with the hem of his sweater.  
His head feels like an overflowing river, because there are so many questions he has right now.  
What does it mean, that Willie has brought him here?  
Can he actually start feeling a bit hopeful in regards to his crush on Willie?  
Well, no.  
Willie probably wants to hang out with him as a friend.

People don’t like Alex like that.  
They like him sure, but it’s always Luke, or Julie, who people crush on.  
Reggie as well, but not him.

“Can I ask you something?” Willie asks, effectively interrupting Alex’ train of thought.

He nods.

“Why’d you need to clear your head today? Is everything alright? I mean, you don’t have to talk about it, but if you wanted to,” he trails of, looking unsure of himself.

What. Is. Happening. Alex stares for a second, because Willie seems to actually genuinely care about him? He clears his throat. “Uh, I don’t want to overshare,” he says.

“I asked,” Willie says.

Which, true. It’s his own fault then, if Alex talks too much. “Okay, uhm. Well. So I’m staying at Julie’s house at the moment, just for a few nights,” he starts.

Willie immediately knits his eyebrows together.

“It’s not unusual, honestly. Julie has this garage next to her house, which is kinda our studio and where we practice, but also has a really nice couch, and her mom put a mattress down in the loft-space. Mine,” Alex halts for a second, not sure what exactly is too much, but then he presses on. He’s started to avoid looking at Willie, no matter how much he wants to.  
“Well, mine and the other guys’ homelives aren’t like, great, to put it mildly,” he says.

He looks up at Willie, just to steal a short glance, and Willie is already looking at him with a look that Alex can’t decipher.

“Mine are pretty homophobic, as you know by now. Reggie’s just never stop fighting and forget him in the process. Luke’s parents love him but don’t agree with his choices. Julie’s parents are absolutely amazing, honestly. We used to crash at the studio two years back, when it got too bad at home, and they found out, obviously. And instead of kicking us out they began making the garage easier to sleep in.  
Rose, that’s Julies mom, put down a mattress and bedding for all three of us, and Ray, her dad, fixed up a tiny bathroom for us to use.  
Whenever it gets bad at home they have one, or two, or all of us over until we can go back,” Alex explains.

“They sound amazing,” Willie says softly.

“They really are. And I love them, I really do. But sometimes it gets to be a bit too much, to see them so happy together and so supportive of everything Julie does, when I know what awaits me at home, you know?” he looks at Willie again, who seems kind of sad. He nods.  
“Yeah. So, I just needed to get away for a bit,” Alex says, feeling awkward.

He definitely overshared now. And Willie probably thinks it’s weird that Alex regularly stays over at Julie’s.

“You’re really lucky to have your friends and a support system like that,” Willie says and gives Alex a soft smile.

“I. Yeah, I think I am,” Alex mumbles. So maybe he did not ruin everything, which would be nice for a change.

“My dad is away a lot, for his shows. Which is okay, I guess, because I get to do whatever I want, but sometimes I get really lonely when I’m just home alone. When I was younger he’d be really strict wit me, and I wasn’t allowed to do much of anything,” Willie suddenly says.

Alex looks at him, and this time it’s the other boy who avoids his gaze. A breeze starts up, taking some strands of dark brown hair, and they dance around Willie’s face. The sun makes his skin glow and his eyes shine again and Alex can’t look away.

“Is that why you like skating at breakneck speeds and running other people over?” he asks, in an effort to make Willie laugh again.  
It works, kind of. Willie chuckles. “You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?”

“Nah.”

“You’re right, though. I started skating because it gave me an excuse to be outside and do my own thing, and it still makes me feel more free than when I'm just walking around. And the trill of skating where I probably shouldn’t is pretty great. It helps me focus on other things, you know? Clears my head, calms me down,” Willie says, his gaze wandering from his skateboard to Alex’ face and then the skyline of the city spreading out in front of them.

“That’s sorta what drumming does for me. There’s no better way to deal with your feelings than whaling on some drums. It helps me release some energy when I need to,” Alex admits.

“You’re really good on the drums,” Willie says, looking over at Alex again, with a small smile.

“There are better drummers,” Alex protests, but he’s blushing.

“You’re like, really bad at taking compliments, dude.”

“Yeah. Sorry. They make me uncomfortable,” Alex says.

“Well, I’ll just have to compliment you until you aren’t anymore,” Willie says.

Is this... flirting?  
Alex can’t tell.  
His blush deepens anyway, and he doesn’t know what to say.

But it doesn’t matter, because Willie is really good at keeping conversations going, and it’s really easy to talk to him.  
Time flows by, the sun sinks lower. Alex feels himself relax more and more. They’re sitting near the edge of the roof, Willie lets his legs dangle, leans back on his hands. Alex has his legs crossed under him, directly facing Willie, and he can’t really stop looking. It’s like the other boy gets prettier the longer Alex looks at him.  
The sun is setting, when their tone shifts from easy to a bit more sombre. The sky looks like it’s painted in bold strokes of pink and orange and glowing red over blue, and the red glow of the setting sun makes Willie’s hair glow.

“Can I ask you another question?” he asks, looking at Alex, who nods. His stomach clenches a bit, because he doesn’t know what to expect.

“Why do you wear so much pink? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging, just curious. Considering how homophobic your parents are they probably don't love that,” Willie asks, the curiosity evident in his tone.

Alex grins. “Spite, mostly,” he says.

Willie gives him a quick laugh, and raises his eyebrows again, looking even more curious than before.

“You’re right, my parents absolutely hate it. When I came out to them I was fifteen. I’d known about being gay for a few years already. Was out to the guys and Julie for about a year and a half. Coming out went badly, as you can imagine. My dad especially, but both of them got really angry and there were lots of slurs and yelling. They didn’t kick me out, but I ran away,” Alex explains.

“I’m so sorry,” Willie mumbles.

Alex shrugs. “It’s not like it’s your fault. They just suck.”

“Still-”

“Yeah. Well. I ran away, to the Molina’s, obviously. I didn’t come out to them then, but finding me crying on their doorstep with a backpack was enough for them, I think. They took me in, and called Reggie and Luke, and left us alone, and I swear, I’ve never seen Luke as angry as he was that day, when I told them what my dad had said to me.”

Alex remembers the look of pure rage on Luke’s face. Julie had been crying as well, angry tears and sad tears. Reggie had hugged him upon coming inside the house and not let go, but Alex was pretty sure he had been crying too. And there were tears in Luke’s eyes as well, but he looked so mad. He’d gone on an angry rant about Alex’ parents, furiously pacing the garage, and only calmed down when Alex had fallen asleep out of pure exhaustion from crying for ,like, a few hours straight as Julie had told Alex later. They had fallen asleep on the couch hat night, all four of them tangled together. Rose had set up the mattress a day later. Ray had accompanied Alex to his parents house to get some clothes and his drumkit.  
Alex tells Willie all of that.

“The thing is, I wasn’t even surprised by my parents’ reaction. I knew that they were going to be unaccepting, but I think, deep down, I still thought that maybe that could change because it was me, you know?”

Willie nods.

“So, I was staying at the Molina’s for about a week, and one day Luke barges in. We were set to have practice anyway, but he was early. And he just threw this packaged gift at me, and it was this sweater.” Alex points at his pink Champion sweatshirt.

It was way too large when he got it, but he’s grown into it.

“And Luke gives this to me, and looks me dead in the eye and goes  
‘Your parents are homophobic assholes, and they will hate that you won’t let that break you. And they’ll hate it even more, when you’re proud, and that’s why you’re gonna wear this the next time you go home. Because they’ll hate it, and you don’t owe them shit.’”

Alex laughs a little at the memory. Back then he’d cried a bit, again.

“I honestly don’t know where I’d be without the others. I was pretty confident in my sexuality thanks to them before my coming out to my parents. And their support in that time really helped me. Luke was right, of course. My parents hated it, when I came home with this sweater. And it felt great. And somehow the others just kept ‘finding’ pink clothing for me. Ray suddenly remembered a pink dress shirt that I could wear to my cousin’s wedding, and it fit me perfectly. Reggie found a pair of pink socks that I could have. Julie and Rose kept finding pink shirts. And I wore them all, and I still do, because it makes my parents angry and I don’t owe them shit,”

Willie stares at him, as Alex finishes his explanation. Once again Alex cannot tell what the look on his face is supposed to mean. If it weren’t Alex Willie is looking at he’d think it was admiration or something along these lines. But this is Alex, so it isn’t.

“Also, I look good in pink,” he adds.

Willie keeps looking at him like that, but shakes his head incredulously and grins. “You’re pretty fucking stellar, do you know that?”

Alex splutters, because he does not, in fact know. Nor does he believe it. The sun has almost set now. “I’m just really lucky when it comes to my friends,” he mumbles.

Willie looks like he wants to say something else, but doesn’t. Instead he keeps looking at Alex and Alex keeps looking at him and he wonders what exactly they’re doing here.   
Willie clears his throat. “You, uh, you should probably get going, huh?” he says.

Oh.  
So maybe Alex did in fact ruin things by wildly oversharing.  
“Yeah. Uh, yeah. Sorry for rambling and-,”

“Dude, there's nothing to apologize for.”

“Sorry.”

Willie smiles. “C’mon, I’ll show you out so you don’t get arrested.”

“How kind,” Alex says, but grins at Willie's eyeroll-

Willie takes his hand again.  
Probably because the roof has gotten fairly dark and he doesn’t want Alex to injure himself any more. Yeah.  
Just because of that. And to prevent Alex from falling down the stairs. Nothing more.

“We should do this again sometime,” Willie says when they’re out of the building and standing on the sidewalk. He’s let go of Alex’ hand, but they’re still standing really close. Alex realizes for the first time, that he’s a tiny bit taller than Willie.

“Yeah, that’d be nice,” he agrees.

They both stand there, unsure of what to do now. Alex can’t help but let his eyes wander down to Willie’s lips. He rips his gaze away, embarrassed.  
“Uh, I’ll see you in school?” he says, and now he avoids eye contact because what if Willie saw?

“Yeah,” Willie agrees.

Then he moves forwards and hugs Alex, who is surprised but very much not opposed to the whole thing. He hugs back, and fuck, of course, of-fucking-course Willie smells amazing. Something citrusy in his hair and something else Alex can’t put his finger on. It’s great. He never wants it to end. Willie lets go, way too early in Alex’s opinion. He smiles, and Alex can feel it mirrored on his own face.

“See you around,” he says.

Willie smiles and nods.  
"You do look really good in pink, by the way,"

Alex nods and smiles. Screams internally because what the fuck does that mean?

"Thanks."

And then he leaves, because he honestly can’t deal with how happy and giddy he’s feeling right now.

And maybe Rose and Ray notice that he can’t stop smiling in the evening. And maybe Carlos teases him. And if Julie sees him blush bright red after she asks if it was Willie he’d met with, no she doesn’t.

\---

The next month passes in a blur. Willie really joins Dance Club, and Alex loves it. Carrie pairs them up fairly often, which at first makes Alex’s heart clench and breath stop, but he relaxes fairly fast after that.  
They work well together, he realizes. And Willie looks amazing when he dances and sends Alex small smiles during practice.  
They talk in school. Hang out afterwards sometimes.  
Willie takes him up to the roof again, where they do their homework together. Willie always holds his hand when they go up and down. In between too, at times.  
With the school dance coming closer Alex focuses more on the gig. It makes him anxious, because he’s always afraid of fucking up on stage. The band practices more, and longer, and Alex lies in bed at night, looking at his hands and running his fingers over the tiny scars left behind from his scraped palms and wonders what the looks that Willie still gives him mean.

The day of, after classes end, the band waits on the school parking lot.

Ray is coming to pick them up, so they can get their things from the studio, along with their carefully coordinated outfits from Rose.  
Luke and Reggie jump around, giddy with excitement for the upcoming show.  
Julie watches them fondly, shaking her head.

Alex, full of anxiety, keeps fiddling with his fingers. He’s picking at his skin, too, when a hand suddenly covers his.

“Don’t ruin your hands so short before your gig, Hotdog,” Willie says and shakes his head.

Alex can’t help the nervous laugh that escapes him. He’s still not used to how chill Willie is when it comes to touching him, or how the boy just appears, seemingly out of nowhere.

“Sorry,” Alex says out of reflex.

He pretends not to notice that Luke and Reggie have stilled, watching him now. He’s pretty sure Reggie is sniggering again, like he always does when Alex stops working because Willie just showed up.

“You don’t have to apologize to me, apologize to your hands,” Willie says and Alex snorts. “But seriously, you gotta chill out a bit, I know it’s hard for you, but I’m sure you’re gonna rock this performance!” Willie says and he’s still holding Alex’ hand and gives it a light squeeze.

“You’ll be there?” Alex asks before he can stop himself.

“Definitely, just for you though. I’ll see you,” Willie says, gives Alex hand another squeeze and pats him on the shoulder with his other hand, before he skates of with a  
“Good luck, guys!” directed at the rest of the band.

Alex is left staring at his back, mouth slightly open.  
Willie is a mystery to him, truly. What the fuck does he mean “just for you though”?  
If that was supposed to calm Alex down, he’s failed because now he’s not only got to deal with normal anxiety but also with knowing that Willie will definitely be watching.

“Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies,” Luke says.

Alex turns to him. Luke has one arm slung over Reggie’s shoulder, the other around Julie’s waist. They’re all grinning at him. Reggie wiggles his eyebrows. Alex closes his mouth.

“You seriously just got to invite him out, Alex,” Julie says.

“Why?” Alex asks.

“Uh, ‘cause he held your hand and wished you good luck?”

“Yeah, okay, but maybe that was just a friendly thing to do because he knows I have anxiety?”

Julie facepalms and Reggie rolls his eyes.

“Alex, I’m seriously going to kill you if you don’t stop being this fucking oblivious,” Luke sighs.

“No killing in my car, also why do you want to kill Alex anyway?” Ray appears behind his daughter, kisses her on the cheek as hello.

Luke grins and turns around to him before Alex can interject. “Alex’ crush held his hand and wished him good luck for tonight and Alex thinks that’s a thing friends just do,” he says, smugly.

“Luke, shut the fuck up!”

Ray turns to Alex, and he can see very clearly where Julie got that particular amused smile from, that she always puts on when Alex embarrasses himself again because of Willie. “Mijo, you know you’re the smartest of the boys, but you can be really stupid,” Ray says.

Luke and Reggie who were just happily making fun of Alex look offended.   
“Hey!” Luke cries out.

Julie cracks up. Ray sighs and shakes his head. “Come now boys, you’ve got a lot to do,”

“Yeah, Alex needs to use his braincells to finally understand that Willie likes him back,” Reggie says and bumps into his shoulder. Alex rolls his eyes.

“Agreed,” Julie says, as they make their way over to the car. Alex shoots her a look but she just sticks his tongue out at him. Children, all of them.

“So when he kisses you, will you also think that that’s a thing friends do?” Luke asks, when they’re settled into the car.

The boys are in the backseat, Julie in the passenger. “I hate you,” Alex says.

“No you don’t, you love us!” Reggie protests.

“I have never said that,” Alex has, in fact, said that, many times. They know it.

“You really just need to ask Willie out, and we’ll leave you alone,” Luke says.

“Somehow I don’t believe you.”

“Oh! Alex, must you wound me so! This pain is too much to bear,” Luke throws himself at Alex as dramatically as he can with a seatbelt on.

“Die then.”

\---

The afternoon passes in a blur of bantering and getting ready and Luke not being able to tear his eyes away from Julie when she emerges in a lavender coloured dress and braided hair, curtesy of Rose.  
Rose always dresses them, and has Alex in a pastel pink jacket leather over a black shirt, Reggie in a pair of non-ripped black pants and a more elegant version of his red flannel and Luke in a vest from an old suit of Ray’s that’s kind of metallic blue and over one of his sleeveless shirts.  
They look good. Rose also does their hair, although Luke’s is hopeless and also messed up because Julie can absolutely not abstain from kissing her boyfriend immediately after she sees him.  
It’s honestly disgusting how in love they are, Alex thinks as he watches his best friends laugh.  
Reggie also pleaded for some black eyeliner for his look, which he got.  
Apart from the clothes Alex has only pushed his hair back with a bit of gel.  
Ray takes a picture of them, as he always does before they perform.

The level of excitement rises between them, Alex can tell, as they drive back to school. He’s giddy as well, but also really anxious, and very glad that the other boys take hold of his hands as soon as they’ve settled back into the backseat.

“You guys always take my hands in a platonic way,” he comments. Luke groans.

“Yeah, but we’ve also known each other since we were tiny, so we don’t count!”

“Reggie’s right!” Luke agrees.

“Alex, please. That boy is so, so gone for you. I know you’re scared of what might happen if you tell him, but wouldn’t you rather try than regret for the rest of your life?” Julie turns around to look at him.

Alex sighs. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Good,” Luke says, but he gives Alex’ hand a reassuring squeeze and a warm smile and Alex knows that that’s the end of the conversation for now.

His mind focuses on the upcoming performance. Their soundcheck goes well. They hang out behind the stage, while the rest of the gym is set up with balloons and a small buffet.  
Flynn joins them about half an hour before they’re set to start. She saunters in, hugs Julie and the rest, then grins at Alex.

“Carrie wishes you good luck,” she says.

“O- okay?”

“A special friend of hers looked like he couldn’t wait for you performance,” she adds.

“Okay, cool,” and his anxiety returns at full force, because fuck, Willie really is here.

“Alex, dude, bro, it’ll be fine!” Luke says and latches onto his shoulders.

“Yeah! We’re gonna blow them all away today!” Reggie adds.

Julie laughs. Time flies by. Alex honestly cannot wait, until he finally gets to sit behind his drums and release that anxious energy that’s been building up the whole time.

Julie is the first to go on stage, as always. “Hey guys! You might know me, but I’m Julie from Julie and the Phantoms,” she says. The crowd cheers.

Alex is amped up now, bouncing on his heels next to Luke and Reggie, who seems as energetic as him.

“Where are my Phantoms, you might ask? Well,” Julie starts. That’s his cue. They have this little appearance act at the beginning of every show. Alex ducks and hurries to his drums in the dark of the stage, because thus far only Julie stands in a spot light.

“Let me introduce them.” Julie says, grinning.

Alex sits down. A spotlight turns on, illuminating him. The crowd cheers louder. “Here we have our drummer, Alex!” Julie announces.

“Yeah, Alex!” someone in the crowd calls. It sounds a lot like Willie.  
Julie laughs, and Alex can’t help but grin.

“Heck yeah, Alex! But also! Say hi to Reggie, our talented bassist!”  
Reggie gets his spotlight, from where he waves, one hand on his instrument.

“And last, but not least, Luke! Guitarist, singer and also lyricist for most of the songs you’ll hear today!” Luke steps into Julie’s spotlight, and the crowd gets louder again. “Let’s get this party started, yeah?”

Their audience agrees.  
They launch into the first song of their set. It goes amazing.  
Alex loves drumming and playing with his band. He loves watching them from the back of the stage, how Luke and Julie just continue to gravitate towards each other. Loves watching Reggie jump and literally bounce around the stage, the happy glow on all of their faces when they turn around to him. He loves the way they can move the crowd, even though he can’t really see them.  
An hour later, when they’ve finished their last song, and Alex joins them at the front to take their bows, he makes a decision.

Ten minutes later, after they’ve had a bit of water and dried a bit of the sweat that they work up during performances, Alex is still high on adrenaline. He jumps down from the side of the stage, and tries to get a good look at the crowd.  
He’s looking for one specific face. The others join him, all of them grinning, and he knows they’re all riding the same high.  
Reggie has yet to stop bouncing and Luke keeps grinning.  
Julie is texting someone.  
Luke slings his arms around her waist, kisses her cheek and she giggles, turning slightly so she can actually kiss him. Alex looks around again, catches Reggie winking at him. Before he can ask what is up with that his thoughts are interrupted.

“Hey, Hotdog,” Willie stands a few feet away from him, and Alex has to do a double take, because goddamn. Willie looks great, always. But Willie in a button down and a blazer is truly a sight to behold.

“Hey,” he breathes.

Willie smiles, and Alex smiles back and yes, he’s sure. He grabs Willie’s hand, and pulls him back, to the wall near the stage, where it’s darker and the pushed-back curtains of the stage give a bit of cover.

“Is everything all right, are you okay?” Willie asks, very evidently confused.

“I’m great, actually,” Alex says.

Willie grins up at him. Alex nearly loses his breath again, because, and there really isn’t any other word for this, Willie is beautiful.

“Well, you were great out there. I’ll have to be very honest,” Willie stops for a second, seems to be contemplating something. Alex’s breath hitches. “You looked very, very attractive on stage. Very.” Willie is definitely blushing now, and Alex is too.

There is so much adrenaline pumping through his veins and a beautiful boy is looking at him, and only him, and it’s Willie.  
And Alex just goes for it.  
He leans down, only a bit, and presses his lips to Willie’s.

He doesn’t really know what he’s doing, because apart from a few clumsy kisses with Luke and Reggie and a terrible one with Julie on account of her being a girl and him being very much gay, he doesn’t have much experience.

And it doesn’t matter, because he can feel Willie grinning, as he kisses back. Willie pulls back, a lot sooner than Alex wants him too. He looks up at Alex, his dark brown yes shining despite the dimly lit gym and he’s so, so beautiful.

“I’ve been waiting for this for a while,” he says, quietly and so fondly that Alex thinks his knees might give out. No going back now.

“I’ve had an enormous fucking crush on you for ages, Willie. Like, it’s embarrassing for how long, but I really, really like you,” Alex says.

Willie gives a small laugh, shakes his head. He bites his lip, which should still be illegal and also be kissed right now. Alex slides his hand up Willie’s arms, where he’d still been holding his hands, and comes to a stop only when he’s cupping Willie’s face.

“I’ve really, really liked you for a long time as well,” Willie says.

His hands settle on Alex’ waist.

“That’s good,” Alex says.

He’s honestly a bit overwhelmed right now, because only a few months back he wouldn’t have considered this to ever be a realistic possibility.  
But Willie just gives another quiet laugh, and he looks up at him again, and Alex thinks he might actually be in love, and he’s still so amped up from the performance that he just shoves his anxieties and other worries aside, and kisses Willie again, more forcefully this time.  
Willie grins again, but pushes back with almost more force, and Alex just knows with absolute clarity in this moment, that both of them have been waiting for and wanting this for quite some time.  
He pulls Willie closer, and Willies arms come up around Alex’s neck, and he’s probably going up on his tip toes, because he’s at the same height now, and Alex begins running his hands through Willies soft hair, like he’s wanted to for so, so long.

A whistle interrupts them, accompanied by an exasperated “Dude!” which definitely comes from Luke.  
Willie breaks off, breathing heavily, and grinning with the same happy grin that Alex just knows is on his own face.

His band stands a few feet away, Luke just done with lightly smacking Reggie on the arm, looking a bit annoyed but alsp very proud.  
Reggie just shrugs, grinning. Julie looks so happy she could burst. Carrie, Flynn, Kayla and Nick stand next to them, all looking extremely happy as well.

“Looks like we’ve got an audience,” Willie mumbles into Alex’ neck, laughter rolling off of his words and Alex can’t help it, when the other boy is being so goddamn cute, he wraps his arms around Willie.

“I guess so,” he says, before pressing another kiss onto Willie, who reciprocates happily.

“Took you long enough,” Carrie says.

But she’s also smiling an enormous smile. Willie looks embarrassed and Alex honestly can’t keep his eyes off of him for longer than a few seconds.

“Was he really dramatic and gay too, or is that just Alex?” Luke asks. Reggie bursts out laughing.

“Luke-“ Alex starts, embarrassment flooding him all of a sudden, but Willie stops him by kissing him again.

“He was very dramatic, always lamenting about how beautiful Alex’s hair looks in the sun,” Kayla says and it’s Willie’s turn to protest.

Alex can’t quite believe his ears. “You think my hair is beautiful?”

Willie looks at him, a shy smile dancing across his face, which is a look Alex has not seen before but definitely needs to see more often. “I don’t know if you’ve been told this before, Alex, but you’re pretty spectacular, both as a person and to look at.”

“We tell him all the time, he just doesn’t listen,” Reggie says.

“I’m not good with compliments,” Alex mumbles.

“I’ve noticed,” Willie says, and kisses him again, short and sweet.

“C’mon guys, lets give them a bit of space, Alex might just combust otherwise,” Julie says. She’s right, of course, but Alex also doesn’t really need the others to keep embarrassing him. The group shuffles away, giggling and Julie has to physically drag Luke away.

“I like your friends,” Willie says.

“You can have them, then.”

“I like you more, though,” Willie adds and Alex blushes even more, if that is even possible.

He kisses Willie again, and Wille reciprocates and they both know that they’ll have to break apart soon and actually join their friends. Alex is aware that he’ll have to endure a lot more teasing but. Well. He’s really fucking gay and his crush likes him back, and things could honestly not be better right now.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, it's me again!  
> I hope you like this, because I had an absolute blast writing this story and am also already planning a follow-up from Willies POV, maybe some more stuff in this AU, we'll see.  
> If there were any mistakes in spelling/ grammar then I'm sorry, I'm not a native English speaker, but I also use British English so that's why there are so many 'u's.  
> I'm lonely as fuck, so if any of y'all wanna come round and scream about JATP with me,  
> [here's my tumblr](https://reallykindadumb.tumblr.com/)


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